turn it up. take me down.

add it.

kiss_me_off

im deleting this journal.
mite make a new one some other time.
but for now...
cyaaaaaaaa.

"erin. you have so many 'goodies'. inside and out."-cc
this weekend was amazing.
and to think i didnt even want to go.
im so glad my mom made me.
[prooving again that shes always rite.]
ive never cried and laughed so much in 3 days.

i think halstons and keenans letters really meant the most to me.
its amazing that my guy friends said the most meaningful things to me this weekend.
they really are like my big brothers. and they are the reason im so strong.

i love my friends so fuckin much.
and this weekend just reminded me of that.
they are the most amazing people ever.
im so lucky to have grown up with them since 1st grade.
[but now im even more sad to graduate.]

gawwwwwd. this sucks.
*12 years with my best friends.
and in less than *30 days it will all pretty much be over.

Current Mood: sad.
Current Music: modest mouse.

darling, just scream me to sleep.
yep.
friggin bullshit. [walter said it best.]
goin out of town tomorrow mornin.
be home sunday.
seeeeee ya.
<3333

Current Music: copeland.

there aint no use in bringin no jive to me. your southern can is mine.
spring break is over.
back to school tomorrow.
i cleaned my room like crazy.
threw away sooo much stuff.
kinda sad.
i think we sold our house today.
even more sad.
work today sucked.
sooo boring.
senior overnite is this fri-sat.
that should be a lot of fun.
this month of school is gonna fly.
its our last month.
my best friend is back in town finally.
and my boyfriend comes back tonite also.
thannnnnk goodness.
ive missed them both.
[a lot.] <333

Current Mood: closer.
Current Music: damien rice. duuuh.

im just not that brave.
today all i did was some bullshit 5 minute art stuff.
i need like 40 things done by monday.
so im screwed. [im gonna fail AP art.]
amanda. check it. i finished the droids. haha.
um. p.s. they want your heart.
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.............................................
hung out with sean/dylan, kevin, and ashley.
went to bennigans.
played music.
drank sierra mist. [my favorite.]
came home.
GAP tomorrow morning 10am-7pm.
i dont want to work at all.

maybe i fell too fast.
so what do you do when everyone you turn to and everyone you call is too busy to care?

[you break down. or you run away.]

ive chosen to do both.

<3 goodbye.

but what could you be doing that is so much fun without me by your side?
- went to pauls.
- ate mcdonalds.
- played tennis.
- went to moes.
- went to walmart.
- hung out with phil and john.
- fell in love with pauls dog. [me and "pugsley"]

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Current Music: new copeland.

"aww. she seems so nice. i feel sorry for her."
i hope to god we prove you wrong.
[cause we are fuckin in love.]
bottom line.
but no one believes in "us"...
so go ahead and talk more shit about me.
cause you feel sooo sorry for me.

and if you really "care"... then you wouldnt be so secretive.

i hate you all.

Current Music: all the ghosts.

every pool of water reminds me of you. is that alrite? i hope you think its cool.
today:
amanda woke me up.
danny came over.
we all watched aqua teen hungerforce and donnie darko.
baked a cake.
fed my horse carrots.
listened to ladytron.
[its was fun.]
then.
i went to see ring 2 with jenna.
the movie sucked.
i was still scared though.
[im very easily scared.]
i had fun with jenna.
very funny.
tomorrow:
easter. blaaaaah.
i have to go to church with my family.
holidays just make everything thats bad in your life seem worse.
tomorrow will be another one of those days.
i really miss my boyfriend.
...........................
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losers.

tired.

bffl.

i love amanda.
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danny and horse- not the band.

Current Music: frou frou.

whoooo. show me your tits.
===> today was our first day of spring break.
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*so me amanda keenan and jeremy went to daytona.
*went to some surf shops.
*went to the beach and saw some ppl from school.
*went to bennigans.
*drove around the beach.
*went to the mall.
*and then came home,
*it was a lot of fun.

Current Music: bullet for my valentine.

check it.
i cut my hand with a ruler yesterday at school.
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and it really hurts.

who? mike jones.
today i:
*woke up on time.
*threw paper airplanes outside all day at school.
*watched the incredibles in anatomy class.
*played harry potter in band.
*worked 4-10.
*bought a sweater.
*straightened my hair.

...im packin for the beach tomorrow. [im excited.]
i havent had my cellphone for 2 weeks now. [i hate it.]
my manager gave me one of those lifesize posters we have of sarah jessica parker.
but i later decided i have no space for it in my room.
so i tossed it out my car door by the dumpster.
i shouldve saved it for hannah. [cause she likes that little slut actress.]
<333

Current Music: the shins.

this place was built for moving.
things i cannot stop thinking of:
* that teal sweater i folded 15 times at GAP.
* top gun.
* my boyfriend.
* all the tests i have to take tomorrow.
* clownalena.
* hannah being killed by her stalker.
* when i threw his punchline cd out the window.
* the beach.
* my broken cellphone.
* spring break thursday.
* jeremy leaving friday.
* $cash money$.
* my stupid mouth.
* ashlee simpson.
* my forever cold feet.
* college.
* being alone.

Current Mood: hungry.
Current Music: damien rice.

limelight.
today was "pi day".
which made school super easy.
went to moes.
saw amber, james, adam, pat.
ate with j, alena, amanda, walter.
alena made me laugh like crazy.
so tomorrow i mite have to work.
im "on call". which sucks.
but hopefully they wont need me.
cause i dont wanna miss the show.
lallie just called me to tell me that she was in the hospital.
what the hell.
i havent talked to that poor girl in sooo long.
i hate how i do that-
i never call people back.
i suck at phone tag.
i dont reply to letters/e-mails.
im the worst pen-pal you could get.
i really do miss my friends from the summer sooo much.
lallie, ashley, margaret, betsy, weston...EVERYONE.
its just so hard to keep in touch.
it sucks to know that in REALITY-
i will probably NEVER see more than half of them ever again.
yeh, reality blows.
i need a shower.
<333

Current Mood: <3 i love my boyfriend.
Current Music: T.I.

i heard my dad whisteling your song in the kitchen.
yesterday i went to see my friends bands play with jeremy.
it was fun.
then we went to panera.
now im gettin ready to go to work.
12-9.
i dunno if i can do it... haha.
its only my second day.
but 8 hours of clothes!
i mite die.
<333
p.s. alena- i love you. hope all is well.
p.p.s. hannah- im gonna talk to mom tonite.
you need to talk to her too!

Current Mood: really tired.
Current Music: adtr.

my heart, your hands.
tonight i realized im the weakest person ever.
the smallest things can break me apart so easily.
i feel like someone just beat the crap out of me.
and now im supposed to do jumping jacks.
[impossible.]
im in one of those moods i used to always get in...
where my eyes are wide open,
but i dont even know whats going on around me.
im frozen.
theres so many things id like to say to you.
but i dont know how.
[i promise i wont be like this forever.]
i just need to see you tomorrow.
i just need you to tell me that everything will be okay.
i just need you.

Current Mood: hurt.
Current Music: death cab.

its like fuckin christmas and neils birthday all year long.
today really sucked.
stress.
i went to wendys with bobby after our band concert.
and i did nothing but complain the whole time.
thank goodness he didnt mind listening.
im tired.
well thank you to neil and james.
your call really made my day.
<3 goodnite.

p.s. jeremy your sidekick sucks!

Current Mood: loved.
Current Music: tbs.

moes knows.
it kinda sucks cause i used to look up to her...
but then again...it makes me laugh,
because i feel like im the only one who sees whats goin on.
[its ridiculous.]
and im still in high school...
so i should be kinda used to this kinda stuff... rite?
actually no.
lap tops dont destroy my friendships.

p.s. sometimes i dont think people know how hurtful their words can be.
and how much they really affect people. i love you jeremiah wade. <333

Current Music: saosin.

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